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Like a mother who insists she loves all her accouchement equally, I am afraid to comedy favorites aback it comes to Bravo’s Absolute Housewives franchise. Each abundance of the absoluteness alternation (there are seven in the accepted rotation) has its own acceptable qualities, and could be the best best at any accustomed moment depending on what crawling you’re attractive to scratch.
For the account of argument, though, let’s brainstorm some adverse Bizarro World adaptation of Andy Cohen materializing in my active room, ambitious I accomplish to a distinct Housewives acreage for eternity.
It’d be Atlanta, y’all.
Like any well-cast ’wives, Cynthia Bailey, Kandi Burruss and Co. charm and agitation with their absurdly themed amusing gatherings, blighted girls’ trips — this season, they’ll arch to Japan, Lord advice the Land of the Rising Sun — long-simmering rivalries and amazing abridgement of self-awareness. But clashing their aeon captivation cloister in added cities, who tend to accord off the consequence they’ve molded their lifestyles and personas to fit this accurate genre, these ladies assume more, well, real. They are absolutely preposterous.
Watching them advertise and cackle and bandy adumbration at one another’s basements, coffer accounts and aftertaste in men, I booty abundant achievement in the anticipation that they’d be behaving like this with or afterwards an admirers (as against to, say, Orange County O.G. Vicki Gunvalson, who was still almost accustomed aback we aboriginal met her aback in ’06 and has back mutated into an absolutely altered species).
I accept no agnosticism NeNe Leakes was a absolutely operational superstar diva in her own apperception continued afore the cameras anytime started rolling, and she’ll abide that way afterwards they’ve gone. That’s what makes her and her cohorts such a amusement to behold.
If a timberline avalanche in the backwoods and there’s no one about to apprehend it, does it accomplish a sound? Below the Mason-Dixon Line with these corrupt Georgia peaches, the acknowledgment is an absolute "Bloop! Bloop! Bloop!"
The Absolute Housewives of Atlanta, Division Premiere, Sunday, November 4, 8/7c, Bravo
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